why do you wait for me?

Royalty

Marinah. I'm a vegetarian and I abhore animal abuse.
I can either be your Mary Poppins or your Tyler Durden, go figure.
I'm opinionated, pensive, intrepid and very very stubborn
I absolutely despise impudence, especially from those with no knowledge, talent or ideas of their own.
I'm anal about the use of language
Music and the deviant underground play a huge part in my life
Materialistic, but I believe in obtaining my own wealth, not depend on others.
Superficial at the very least, Judgmental at most
Currently, i'm just contented with my brain stimulated by literature, film and art
My heart filled with love by the PandaCat, my boys & bestfriends, pipi and my family
and my soul, exhilirated by the endless music and lyrics i'm exposed to daily

Reach Me

msn

at: kuchizuke__@hotmail.com (that's 2 underscores for you)
gmail

at: bitemeblondie@gmail.com

26 November, 2007 : the real mar?

so the boyfriend made a list about what he really thought about himself. now, let me see. here's a list of mine.

intellectually: well i know a lot of people might think i'm smart, what with me being in nus and taking up psychology, being able to speak french and converse in proper english and shit but to me, i'm really quite dumb. i know shit about politics, although i wish i could a little bit less apathetic but i'm sorry i just am. i know shit about maths and science and atoms and fuck. i'm not doing so well in school mostly due to laziness i guess. i have no fucking aim in life and no leads on any good career that seems the least bit appealing. i'm stuck with a shit degree. i know nuts about computers except to use the net and mic. office. and i can't play instruments to save my life. i really suck at music.

talent: theres nothing much in this area as well. nothing i can say im particularly good at. i can't sing, i can't play the guitar or drums or bass or anything in that area, i don't have a freakin band unlike the rest of my friends in the scene, i don't write in zines, i don't do poems unless they're about ana or suicide or sylvia plathish shit which i myself find repulsive. i can't play rugby since ive stopped for 2 years, i stopped short of obtaining my private pilot license, i cant play any other sports, i can't run fast, i cant even fucking swim.

facial features: theres just so many things i hate about my face. my pimple scars, which apparently once my boyfriend thought was an eyeliner smudge stain, thanks. my mole under my left eye, my weird nose, my stupid lips which look weird when i smile, my crooked teeth, the color of my skin. it's like neither fair nor tan its just a pale shade of brown which makes me look so fucking dull. the fact that i have no fucking eyebrows and have to draw them every single time before i leave the house or i swear i'll look like whoopi goldberg and my puffy cheeks which refuse to get any more defined even after i lost weight.

body: argh. don't get me started. everyone will slaughter me if i say i'm fat so fine, i shall state here that i'm flubby. chubby. tubby. flabby. boingy. whatever. i have stretchmarks on my thighs and shit. i have scars ALL OVER. i hate the color of my skin. i wish i was translucently fair like Shirley Manson or glowing like Liv. i have gross thunder thighs and my tummy refuses to lose its flabs altho yea, some of u think i might have lost weight. so there. i hate the scars i hate the mozzie bite marks i hate it that my skin is so filled with flaws.

personality: some of u might think i'm sunshiney and lovely on the outside but really i'm a total fucked up manipulative wicked and cruel little bitch ever. i tend to hold grudges although i don't show it, i hate people for no apparent reason at all, i diss almost everyone who looks the least bit ugly although i know i'm not any better, i look down on a lot of people, i hate socializing, i only make friends with those whom i think are either interesting/fun, unique or useful. i choose who i want to talk to or hang out with. i handpick my closest friends. i hate children and the idea of having children although maybe at times for that precious hour i might find them cute. i despise talking to intellectually challenged individuals and i hate almost everyone in my school. i'm an elitist at its best although i may not look it, i may be the world's worst hypocrite. but at least i never backstab any one of my friends, that is if you are my friend. i can be brutally and heartwrenchingly honest if i wish to be and i do think revenge is nothing other than sweet.

so u think mar is a good person?
think again.

Royalty

at: kuchizuke__@hotmail.com (that's 2 underscores for you)
gmail

at: bitemeblondie@gmail.com